8 Months Tomorrow (4.5 Months Corrected)

The Bumpy Ride Continues...

Some days are more difficult than others.  Some days it takes all we have not to be angry.  Some days all I want to do is curl up and pretend this is all a terrible mistake, that I am caught in someone else's nightmare.  Some days...

And then I hear Isabelle squeal or see Zoe smile and I know this is our life ~ and to be honest with you, I would not change it.  Who knows where we would be if anything were to change.

We are blessed.  We have four beautiful daughters.  Yes, Madison left us entirely too early and we miss her every day.  Yes,  Cecilia is still fighting in the hospital and we wish more than anything she could be home with us.  Yes, Isabelle and Zoe will always have to worry about their vision and other issues associated with their prematurity.

However, despite all the bumps in the road, we have four beautiful daughters.  Four wonderful human beings that were created with love.  Four little people who have taught us to be better people.  We are blessed.

Cecilia Hope

Miss Cecilia is still in the hospital, still in Rochester, still too far away from her family.  Day of life 242 and she has never set foot outside of the hospital.  She has never felt the sun on her face.  She has never had the wind ruffle her hair.  She has never met her puppy brother Gus.

But she has fought.  She has fought harder than most will ever have to fight in their entire life.  In 242 days Cecilia has faced fear and death and survived it with a smile on her face.  Despite all the negativity, she is growing into a happy, loving little girl.

She has a wonderful personality, constantly sharing smiles and coos with the nurses and doctors.  This morning when I called in we even had a conversation on the phone.  While it is heartbreaking to us to have to be so far away from her and miss seeing her smiles everyday, the days we do get to see her we are that much more in love with her.

We visited on Tuesday for a Care Conference and before we had a roundtable with another 10 people who think they know what it's like to be a NICU family (and none of them really know because thankfully they have never had a baby in the NICU), Cecilia gave both Adam and I smiles.  Her eyes filled with love and our hearts instantly melted.

I do not doubt that Madison spends most of her time watching Cecilia and protecting her when we cannot be there with her.
 

Cecilia weighed 4.40 kilos yesterday this is 9 pounds 11 ounces.  She is getting bigger every day.  Due to her stellar weight gain, Cecilia's feeds were altered to 80 % enteral (tube feeds) and 20 % TPN (IV Nutrition).  Additionally, Cecilia has been given permission to take bottles whenever she cues.  Her hourly amount is 24 cc (which is almost an ounce) and she has been taking around 4-5 bottles a day.

Cecilia will unfortunately also need glasses like her sisters.  Dr. Brodsky is very proactive when it comes to the girls' eyes, not wanting them to miss potential milestones because they could not see.  Cecilia will have the same frames that Zoe and Isabelle wear. 

Cecilia is still requiring some oxygen and the doctors are running a plethora of tests to determine where we go from here in regards to moving Cecilia off of the oxygen.

Overall, Cecilia is doing well and is ahead of where the doctors anticipate she should be.  Leave it to our little peanut to not follow the standard  :)

Isabelle Grace 

Isabelle is developing her own sense of self and it is delightful to watch.  She is so serious at times and then will give you the biggest smile she has.  She is also slightly impatient and having a difficult time not being able to get where she wants to go.  Just this morning she was having a fit because she had her elbow hitched out and therefore could not roll over to her belly.  I shouldn't have laughed but she was so funny to watch.

Not everything is fun and games for Miss Isabelle.  She has eczema.  A serious enough case that we needed to get some medicated cream for her.  Thankfully the cream is helping!!  I was so worried I had to bother my PA Sister Kristi and sent her photos asking what to do  : /  Thankfully, it was just eczema and the medicated cream is working.

Zoe Elizabeth

Oh Zoe.  Zoe is such a daddy's girl!!  There is no secret that Adam is her favorite ~ He comes home and she fights to see him.  It warms my heart that she is so in love with him.

Zoe has been doing wonderful learning to move about and gripping her toys.  She loves to kick still but has increased her play zone to the hanging toys above her.

Zoe's retina has been staying put!  We are so grateful to the surgeons and specialists for working so hard to save her vision.  She will always need glasses or contact lenses but she will (fingers crossed) be able to see.

Hope, Faith and Love

The past 18 months have been crazy for Adam and I, and for those that love us.  We have had to hope for the best, have faith that despite the horrible things would work out, and love for each other and others through all the fog.  We had a choice to make, a choice we continue to make each day:

We have chosen to be strengthened.  Even in our weakest moments, we choose strength.

With everything that has been going on in our lives, our friends and family (and our framily - to steal from sprint) have had some very exciting times of their own.  We have been blessed with new cousins, Jacob, Emelia, Talon, Seth, Tatum, Benny, Aiden, Trace, Austin and most recently, Sydney Ann.  Special angels in our life have been blessed with babies - Makenna, Jonah and Olive entered the world.  And we are currently awaiting on the arrival of Babies Kuen, Saks, Averill, Glasener and Beckfield.

Our lives have been blessed ~ Thank you for your continued love and support.  We love you.

Adam & daneille